I know its a bit late in the year to start making resolutions but I have been busy pretty much non stop for the past few months and I hope things will be settling done soon so I can get some tasks done. I have a few things that I want to do and they range from overcoming personal battles to reviewing products and making haul posts/videos.
Here goes,
First off I want to try and overcome some personal issues and to do this I need to face my demons. I guess you could say I suffer from a form of anxiety. On a general day to day basis I'm ok, but when it comes to new things, I can have minor panic attacks. Going to places such as the doctors and dentist can have a bad effect on me. I'm not scared of them, I just find it really intense being there, I can get all hot and flustered, my heart races, I feel like I cant breath and my head spins. It very hard to explain it and even harder to explain why it happens. Just writing about it now is making me uncomfortable, but I'm hoping to try and manage it better, and the first step is to write it down.
I have the same reactions when I go to shops for the first time, making phone calls or even using the drive-through at fast food places. Job interviews are the worst, and it doesn't matter how much I want the job, or how prepared I am, I always end up a sweating, shaking mess and the more I think about it the worse I get. I am trying to put myself in new situations to try and ease it but its very hard, but my aim this year is to keep trying.
I also have OCD, which isn't that bad generally, as most people don't notice me straightening things, or counting my steps etc, but when I get stressed it gets worse and I don't know what to do with myself sometimes.
It's at this point that you tube comes in. I was hoping to make some videos to try and help me and to build up my confidence. But even though I am talking to a camera rather than directly at people, I still find it hard, and I'm pretty shy so I usually avoid cameras so it's probably not the best thing to try and do. But I would like to do more things on there, I believe the more I try, the easier it will get, and maybe I'll even get some followers which could help me through it. I have some things on their way so I may just do a quick haul recording and stick to doing a full review in blog form.
On a more positive note, we have been looking into buying our first home. We've viewed some houses and been to the bank, the next task is to find our dream home. We are in no particular rush so hopefully we will find the right place. I have been planning however, I have my room plan scrapbook filling up, and I keep buying bits here and there to make it easier when the time comes.
Wow, I have been rambling a fair bit now. If need be, I can go into more detail on certain aspects and maybe even talk it over with someone, I'm always open to opinions and suggestions. The sun is shining so I am off for a walk. Take care, x
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